Der Songtext des Liedes "Absolutely Free" von Frank Zappa lautet:

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Hi and howdy doody
I'm the union man
You can call me Rudy
Any of you boys not paid up on your cards? Huh?

You know I'm pleased to meet ya
Been tryin' all day to reach ya
The union's here to help everyone of you
Rock 'n Roll stars
Rock 'n Roll stars

You always know we care so much
About the way they treat ya
They say they got a lot of reasons every day

Just to get
A chance to meet ya
To check and see
No wrong been done
That's one good reason
I carry a gun
I hope the bulge
Don't bum you out
Wanna get a good look?
Let me pull it right out!
Let me pull it right out!
Let me pull it right out!
Let me whip it right out!